...candice lost and found...

Have you ever asked yourself, "How did I get here?"? I actually never thought I would be in this situation. I had resigned myself to the fact that something would go horribly wrong. I haven't posted because I was using all of my strength to ensure that I stayed positive. It's sometimes more difficult to stay positive when you can write anything you want. I stayed positive. I prayed and went to church, something I wasn't inclined to do before this whole journey began. And now I have wonderful and exciting and terrible and scary news. All my fighting and praying and OCD obsession with the number 3 and here I am pregnant with triplets. 6w4d. All three had heartbeats. All three up on that screen and the doctor was not happy. The risks are great. The risks are so great that I had to make a specialist appointment immediately following the ultrasound. I ruined that moment for my husband. That moment where he could scream at the top of his lungs that this had fina...

Maybe you have heard the saying that science can only go so far and then it is up to God. I have been reawakened spiritually lately and feel that that statement is rather important to my matters at hand. Science is up against me. It is not my friend. Never has been, never will be. When the doctor said you don't have a fertility problem, it's your husband, I was shocked. It had to be me. I mean in my life there has never been a time when it wasn't me. It seemed too good to be true, but I was elated. Our chances were much better because the problem didn't have to do with me. I spoke too soon. I should have known better. Science is not my friend. I was first a miscarrier, then a poor responder, then a pre-menopausal 29 year old. Our odds went from 65% to less than 15% in a matter of months. I started to become a health nut in between IVF cycles. I am doing a ton of nutritional things, but also walking. I walk a lot. It's a great stress relief and some quiet ti...